When being a mother isn’t as you imagined it would be

 

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I dreamed that as a mother…

  • I would have children that loved vegetables
  • They would wear adorable vintage clothing that I made by hand
  • I dreamed that I would churn my own butter and cook every meal from scratch
  • I’d keep a spotless house and have a massive garden with some hens
  • I would do elaborate crafts every day with the kids (that would go just as planned) and write my own homeschool curriculum
  • They would go to bed at an early hour and sleep through the night
  • Everyone would be joyful and happy all the time.

So fast forward several years later…

  • I have a brilliant, three-and-a-half-years-old daughter who refuses to touch a vegetable (Aspergers + sensory issues)  and is terrified of the potty. I have a two years old daughter who thinks its ok to try to scale the rock fireplace and is so enthusiastic about life that she tends to make massive amounts of mess with … well… everything she does.
  • Their clothes are well loved and used and are by no means anything that I have made by hand.
  • Food …. well … I do try to make it all from scratch, but frankly most days we grab something quick from the freezer or Taco Bell.
  • My house is barely in the tidy category. Our grass gets in pitiful condition before it ever gets mowed, much less a garden planted or a place for hens created.
  • Crafts are rather infrequent and never go as planned. The girls are just now liking me to read to them so we are not getting very far with homeschooling preschool
  • My husband and I are co-sleeping with the babies in separate beds because its the only thing that works for us at the moment, therefore no one goes to bed at a decent time or sleeps through the night.
  • I am just now coming out of a 3-year Chronic Post Partum Depression battle. So between a wife of a seminary student, a mother, a family member, a church member, a writer, an artist etc – stress is pretty high, so “happy all the time” is rather laughable

But we ARE joyful. We are so immensely grateful and blessed. My little family by no means resemble the Von Trapp family, all smiling, and lined up in a row – but we can say that this is God’s best for us. This is His perfect plan to help us grow in holiness and for His glory.

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I have had the opportunity to discuss this very topic with a group of 650 women. And astonishingly enough, everyone had virtually the same story: motherhood is ridiculously difficult. Nothing prepared me for how physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting it is. The vast majority of the group said that they struggle with feeling like a failure, that they are going through a serious struggle with guilt, and shame.

According to this Gallup Poll,  Stay at Home Moms are slightly more likely than moms employed outside the home to feel negative emotions on a daily basis and to have been diagnosed with clinical depression.

The discussion with the group of women continued on for some time. Everyone was asking “Why? Why is this so common? Why is staying at the home to raise up children for the Lord so closely connected with failure, guilt, and shame? Why is such a noble and honorable calling bringing so many women into clinical depression?”

Shame and Guilt are not from God. They are the result of sin. We first see these emotions in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve sinned, they did not trust God is who He says He is. And in doing so, were filled with shame and guilt and tried to hide from God. Guilt and Shame drive us away from God. It makes us want to hide. When we as believers sin, God loves us enough to discipline us – which makes us feel Convicted. Conviction drives us TOWARDS him in repentance, not away from Him to hide.

Maybe, we get focused on what we think is best, instead of trusting God to give us His best.  We want a life that is easy and comfortable. But God wants us to become more like Christ, which most likely won’t be easy or comfortable – but it will be more beautiful than any scenario we can dream up. All because we will be able to see and reflect the beauty of Christ.

Maybe, we think that we have to do good in order to be loved instead of trusting God and obeying as a response to His love. We can never be good enough. One tiny sin against the All-Holy, Creator of Everything deserves eternity in Hell. We cannot do penance enough to pay for the price of even ONE sin.

Perhaps, we forget that we are not the Holy Spirit. How easy it is to want to bring conviction to our children – instead of trusting God with their souls. How quickly we get angry when they sin. How often do we worry about what they are turning out to be – when in fact, we are not responsible for their choices. We will be held accountable for training them, not for the choices they make.

 

We can trust God with the souls of our children. We do not have to mold our kids into what God wants them to be – He will do that. God knows exactly what He has created these children to be, and what their futures will hold. He knows every hair on their head. He will arrange everything to be exactly like it needs to be for their sanctification too. We don’t have to worry about creating the Fruit of the Spirit in their hearts – that’s the role of the Holy Spirit.

This mindset of having to work-work-work will lead to unbearable guilt and fear. How many times have we as mothers laid awake at night, going over every tiny mistake we made, and being absolutely obsessed over own every failure? Worrying that we are scaring our children for life? How quickly we fail to trust God’s Faithfulness!

Maybe, it’s because we have forgotten the Gospel. I am a wretched sinner, who deserves Hell, but God in His Grace and Mercy paid the penalty for my sins on the cross so that I might repent and believe in Him and be reconciled to Him.

Trusting God quietens our fears and places our focus on Him instead of at our own selves. Trusting God brings peace, joy, and hope. It is only when we trust God that we can do our children any good at all. God is doing more good than I could ever imagine (Eph. 3:20. God has promised to exalt the humble (Jam. 4:10) and to reward our faithfulness (Col. 3:23-24.).

 

God has chosen ME to be the mother of my children. I can trust that He is doing good TO ME, passionately, actively – He wants to sanctify me (Heb. 12:10.) And though I don’t understand it all – I have to trust that I am the best choice for them, and they are the best choice for me.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13”

We are commanded to “Train up our children in the way they should go…” (Prov. 22:6.) Which is living out part of the Great Commission in our very homes. There is not a more significant calling than to pass on the legacy of our faith to the next generation! So even when things are chaotic and not at all the way we imagined it would be – we can cling to joy, and hope, knowing with full assurance of God’s sovereign goodness.

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The Nursery Dilemma

“No, thank you, we would rather not put our kids in the nursery…”

 

It’s a line that my husband and I almost dread having to say when we visit a different church and even occasionally at our own church. It’s usually followed by a well-meaning, but a rather critical question – posed by someone just double checking us, just to make sure.

– Yes, we are sure.

Then comes the real test – the church service. Will our kids behave?! At least somewhat?!

What if my toddler (who happens to have autism) has a massive meltdown because of being over stimulated from the extra long car ride, or the new smells, or sounds?

What if my baby (who is struggling with her molars coming in) just won’t be pacified or distracted?

At every little noise that the children make during the service – my husband and I flinch. The tension from the well-meaning church member is almost palatable. I felt their eyes burning holes in the back of my head. I am glad that we don’t have to visit other churches often.

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This is a very strong personal conviction my husband and I have. After all, we will be held accountable on Judgement Day for what we taught them – and we want to teach them to love Jesus and His Bride. For us, that means keeping them in church with us and not in the nursery or children’s church.

We want our children to be in the entire church service with us. We want them to hear the worship service and the sermon.  Even though they won’t understand all of what is being said. They are taking everything in.

Those little eyes are watching. They are watching us worship. They are watching their church family worship. They are seeing lives changed, their loved ones cry out to God with heavy burdens, the whole church family rejoicing at a sinner repenting. Why would I want to take them away from all of that and stick them in the nursery?

Our babies will see if we are scrolling through Facebook or are really paying attention to the sermon. We want them to see how important church is – how important being with the body of believers is.

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We want them to see that we don’t go to church just because its fun,  or just because we get something out of it – but because we love Jesus and He died for the church, so we want to obey Him by “not forsaking our own assembling together… but encouraging one another” (Heb. 10:25.)

Keeping babies in the church service is HARD. They wiggle, cry, fidget, try to wander around, get dirty diapers… it is a REALLY hard thing to do. Not to mention the just-before-nap-time-fussiness that tends to occur around 11 am.  I don’t get to hear very much of the sermon at all, I’m too busy wrestling with kids and trying to make sure they don’t find someone’s purse to rummage through. It is so easy to get discouraged, to think that it would be so much simpler if I stayed home or put them in the nursery.

 

A few weeks ago, my toddler mentioned she was scared of the monsters in the shadows (thanks Scooby-Doo.) I told her there were no monsters and not to worry. I had all planned out to remind her about the God is Bigger than the Boogie Man song. She interrupted me to say “Jesus will keep me safe! He loves me!” with that she rolled over and fell right asleep.

Yes, its dreadfully hard – but so worth it.

We are blessed to have friends who truly love our babies and often help with them during the service. I snapped this picture of one of my dearest friends holding my youngest. If you see a family struggling with their babies – instead of insisting that they put the babies in the nursery or children’s service, why not ask to sit with them and love on their babies?

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When I Stopped Writing… Lessons learned in the shadows

I have always dreamed of being a writer.

When I was four, I wrote my first book – complete with construction paper cover and illustrations. I was an avid reader before entering Kindergarten. The more I read, the more I felt compelled to write. I filled journals cover to cover with my thoughts, ramblings, heart-pourings, and poems. By the time I was ten, I wrote a short novel, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish the last chapter (knowing the fate my hero would face was too painful.) And here I am now – 32 years old, and the burning desire to write is stronger than ever.

Several years ago, I stopped writing for a time. Here is why and what I have learned.

Since childhood, writing has been cathartic – even therapeutic.  I use it as a method of putting my thoughts in order. It was a tool to help me learn to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5b) by taking inspiration from Davids style of writing.

Many of the Psalms written by David follow a pattern. He uses writing to pour out his heart and find expression of the pain, frustration, fear, and depression he is facing. And then he focuses his thoughts – and pen – towards God: His character and statutes. By doing so, he is able to find solace and emotional healing in resting in God’s Sovereignty.

But even good things can be marred and tainted because of sin… even something as seemingly innocent as writing in a journal. 

During a particularly dark period of my adult life, my writing became increasingly self-focused. I poured my heart out on paper, each line dripping with the intense sorrow that comes from a deep depression. It felt good to empty out the emotional torment. I thought I would burst if I didn’t.  I trusted that feeling and relied on my emotions to determine the truth of my situation, believing the lie my sinful heart spoke.

“The heart is more deceitful than all else, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”  (Jer. 17:9)

In doing so, I allowed my focus to be inward instead of focusing on Christ. It was hard – it is such a discipline to stay focused. Our sin nature constantly is driving us to focus on our self – driving us towards self-idolatry.  Focusing inward made the darkness of depression all the more unbearable. Which turned into a vicious cycle – of needing to write all the more and being driven deeper and deeper inward. I was spiraling out of control.

The Lord placed several things in my life then that drove my writing to a screeching halt. I bucked against it – I was even bitter about it. But various circumstances would arise to keep me from sitting down and writing.

I was so focused on my pain that I couldn’t see God’s mercy in the moment.

God is safe to trust but I didn’t believe it was true for me. So I wallowed in the muck and mire of self-idolatry. The Lord was so merciful and patient with me. I wanted to hold on to my pain and find comfort in the shadows of depression – but God wanted me to find comfort, rest, and solace in Him. He wanted me to understand that the suffering was for my good, my very sanctification, and for His glory.  Even though I don’t always understand why, I can trust Him.

So five years ago I started writing again. Writing is still a balm to my soul. And now I write so that I can help others know Him more – because that is all that matters anyway.

Loving Jesus Isn’t Enough – Why Sound Theology Matters

By M. Ashley Evans

 “If we don’t know the bible, if we don’t know doctrine, if we don’t know theology – it is virtually impossible for us to identify false prophets” is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite pastors, Voddie Baucham. It, in a nutshell, summarizes why theology and doctrine are so important.

While witnessing to others, I have had several people tell me that they are pagans and they quickly tell me that they love Jesus too, as if that statement alone will guarantee them eternity in heaven. Some professing Christians have said that they just believe that we have to love Jesus and love others – they don’t believe in going to a church that teaches doctrine, because doctrine divides. Some professing Christians have said that they love Jesus – all of that theology stuff just doesn’t matter in the end.

Frankly, they couldn’t be further from the truth.

Having sound theology matters – everyone has a theological view.

Having sound doctrine matters – and it is good that doctrine divides.

If you think that Jesus just wants you to love him and NOT repent of your sins, grow in maturity, and warn others of God’s wrath…. You very well may love that Jesus, but that isn’t the Jesus of the Bible. In fact, it is simply an idol that you have created.

We cannot give people an “answer for the hope that lies within you” (1 Pet 3:15) if we do not know the answers ourselves. We have to have sound theology and doctrine

Theology Matters: Everyone’s a Theologian

Far too many people view theology as an intellectual hobby or an abstract concept with no daily applications. The very word Theology means a Word (logos) about God (Theos). Everyone is a theologian because everyone has their own belief about God and about what happens after death. What we do and how we behave flows out of what we believe in our hearts. Theology is what enables God’s people to think and live rightly. It is because of our (Bible-based) beliefs about God that we try to live according to His standards.

Even inaccurate beliefs about God essentially make that person a theologian – just a bad one. Some theologians believe that which is contradictory to what God says about Himself in the Bible. If everyone is a theologian, then obviously some of those beliefs are right and some are wrong.

That is why we cannot look to our own selves to understand God. There has to be an authority outside of ourselves in which to turn. Thankfully, God has given us His Word so that we can know Him. Jesus said that the scriptures were written about Him.

(John 5:39) “You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is these that bear witness of Me.”

The implications of our theology (whether good theology or bad) will affect every facet of our lives. All of life – the daily minutiae, toiling at work, various emotional ups and downs, to the serious issues of death, job loss, tragedy – all of this requires a sound theological foundation in order to perceive them from a biblical worldview.

Doctrine Matters: Because Doctrine Divides

“No doctrine but Jesus “and “no creed but Christ” is a common mantra plaguing many churches in modern Christianity. And frankly, it is self-contradictory. Both of those statements are doctrines and creeds in and of themselves – the thing is, they are shallow. They either leave one ill-equipped or wanting for more, perhaps sometimes both.

The word Didachē is the Greek word commonly translated as doctrine. It comes from the verb Didaskō, “to teach.” One helpful definition of doctrine that I read in Tabletalk magazine said: “Doctrine is teaching from God about God that directs us to the glory of God.” Doctrine simply means “a teaching,” so if a church is teaching that they have no teachings…. it is just ridiculous. Further, to reject the concept and study of doctrine is dangerous. To do so is to reject Jesus’ teaching, and to reject Jesus’ teaching is to reject Him. (Luke 9:26) Jesus says “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the father and of the Holy angels.”

Paul wrote in his letter to Timothy that sound doctrine is one of the most important things for the spiritual health of the Christian and therefore of the church. Sound doctrine is like a precious treasure that we pass down from one generation to the next. (2 Tim 1:13-14) “Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.”

Just because all doctrine is not the Gospel doesn’t mean it isn’t important. Some doctrine may very well be “non-essential” for salvation and yet it is still important because it is God-breathed Scripture. Some doctrine, though it may not be the Gospel, is a picture of the Gospel, or a natural outflow of the Gospel. Almost all doctrine is somehow connected to the Gospel. Are there different types of importance? Yes, but the categories can be completely arbitrary. You can categorize them in as few as 4 types of importance – or 10. The most concise way is Primary (Gospel), Secondary, Tertiary, and Adiaphora (unclear, up to the individuals’ conscience).

It’s a great thing that “doctrine divides.” It divides the wheat from the chaff: children of God from false converts who need to hear the Gospel. The doctrines of God tell us how to come to know Him whereas the false doctrines of man lead people astray at the risk of their very souls, for example, false gospels. Scripture warns us that we should be “rightly dividing the Word of Truth” (2 Tim 2:15) so that we can “present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed”.

In Paul’s letters to Timothy he urged Timothy and the others to teach “no other doctrine” (1 Tim 1:3) than what Paul taught since solid biblical doctrine (divisional contrast to false doctrine) would save all who heard it from spiritual error “Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.” (1 Tim 4:16)

Division isn’t always bad since Jesus said that his doctrine would divide even family members. (Matt 10:34-37) “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

Division in inevitable for the followers of Jesus. We live in a world marred by sin and full of peoples whose “father is the devil” (John 8:44). We are called to be set apart and holy. “Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” (1 John 2:15) Teaching doctrine is one of the functions of the church. Those who demand a “doctrine-less Christianity” don’t understand neither doctrine or Christianity or are purposefully misrepresenting it.

Love Matters: But What is Love?

Many people who attempt to erase theology and doctrine from Christianity claim to do so out of love for others. But in the end, it’s just love of self and hatred of others.

It is out of love for God that we pour over His Word (His theology and doctrine), carefully so that we may know Him as He has revealed Himself to be.

It is out of love for Christ that we study the Word and its doctrines so that we can become more like Him in our journey of progressive sanctification.

It is out of love for others that we divide the Word rightly and help others to do so too. The Word was given to us so that we could teach others rightly, even correcting others when needed “All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” (2 Tim 3:16)

If we refuse to teach these things rightly – we do not love our neighbor, we hate him. If we refuse to correct our brother who teaches these things incorrectly, we are not loving him but hating him.

Love is this: Human beings are the crown of God’s creation, created in His image- Imago Dei. But we have completely rebelled against Him. We committed treason against God. We were born completely and utterly depraved in our sin. There was nothing good in us- nothing. Our sin separated us from the Holy God who created us. We could never be good enough to earn our way to heaven. Our very sin caused us to deserve an eternity in Hell. Yet God granted us grace and mercy. Christ, the Son of God (there is only ONE God, and He exists in three Persons of One substance) wrapped Himself in flesh; he forsook His throne and glory and came to Earth as a man. This God-man lived the perfect life and fulfilled His law to utter perfection. In His perfect fulfillment of the law He was hated by man, so much so that He was tried, crucified and buried. On the cross, He bore the full wrath of God for the sins of those that would believe in Him. On the third day, He rose again in accordance with the scriptures and He ascended into Heaven. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. He offers mercy to those who would believe in Him and repent of their sins. Our love for Him overflows in how we love others. We love others so that we yearn for them to know Him rightly.

Conclusion

Lifeway Research did a study in 2014 on the theological knowledge of 3,000 American adults. These statistics are from Facts and Trends Magazine. The study was to show the differences between Americans and historic Christianity. These statistics are startling.
• 55% believe that there are many ways to get to heaven.
• 55% believe that the Bible was written for each person to interpret as he or she chooses.
• 59% of evangelicals believe the Holy Spirit is a force, not a person.
• 33% of evangelicals believe that God the Father is more divine than Jesus.
• 44% of mainline Protestants don’t see sex outside of marriage as sinful.
• 39% of Americans did not believe in the Trinity.
• 43% say the Bible is helpful but not literally true.
• 56% believe that their pastors’ sermons have no authority in their life.
• 67% say that most people are basically ‘good’, even though everyone sins a little bit.

Each one of these is completely contrary to what the Bible teaches. It is imperative that we teach sound theology and doctrine. “Loving Jesus” simply is not good enough if they love a “Jesus” who isn’t the Jesus of the Bible. “Loving Jesus” simply is not good enough if they don’t understand the doctrine of Salvation.

Boldly proclaim the truth of God, out of love for Him and for others.

Committing Our Ways Book Review

This book review was also published here:
https://www.topchristianbooks.online/committing-our-ways-book-review/

Book Overview

This book gives a profound biblical view of seeking contentment. Even though the authors are writing from a perspective of singleness, it is a gem of a book with so much to offer women in all seasons of life: single, married, widowed etc.

Summary

There are a great many books written for women that are, well …. fluff.  It was refreshing to read a book filled with biblical truths instead of just trying to pacify women in their current situation.  Many books on singleness or on finding contentment in a less than ideal situation are filled with scripture twisting promises, and give the reader a false hope – and worse – a false view of God and His holiness.
Imagine, sitting on a porch swing on a cool morning, wrapped in a quilt, hot coffee in hand and having a good heart to heart with one of your best friends – that’s the way this book reads. The authors are so down to earth. Each author wrote a handful of chapters, and have personal stories intertwined, so it really reads like a conversation.
I found myself smiling at their heartfelt stories and wincing at the sometimes painful truth (though spoken in love.) Contentment is an area that everyone struggles with. How easy it is to feel disgruntled in a situation – all because God didn’t form the circumstances exactly as we think is best. Oh the audacity that we ever are discontented and assume that we know better than our Creator!

A lack of contentment breeds hopelessness and depression. There is true joy in contentment – and the joy the authors have is so inspiring. I have never read a book that made me feel as if the authors have prayed for their readers and even love them, simply because they are sisters in Christ – until now.
This book is a must-read for every Christian woman.  It can speak into the life of a single woman struggling to find her place in life; to the young mother struggling to survive the chaos of toddlerhood; and even to the woman who is struggling to find meaning in the “empty nest”, because, at its core, this book is about contentment.
Contentment does not mean pretending to be perfectly happy with one’s circumstances.  Nor is it some sort of passive, fatalistic regard for life’s trajectory.  True contentment is much more robust and God-centered than a Pollyanna outlook.  It begins with an honest assessment of one’s true feelings, but moves swiftly to reconcile those feelings with the absolute truth of God’s character.  When life seems unfair, I must remember that the God who is in control of it cannot be anything but fair.  When life seems harsh or too much to bear, I must remember that the God who orders it cannot be unloving or unkind.  Ultimately, contentment is characterized by an attitude of submission to the One who might sovereignly orchestrate events in my life in a different way than I would choose for myself.  But you know what?  He is good, and I can trust Him with my desires, whether for marriage or anything else.” Pg 25.

I love that you can hear their heart with each chapter, they each had goals and dreams… and life hasn’t turned out quite like they had planned.  “As 30 nears, I think I am beginning to understand.  Dreams die a slow death.  The hurts and disillusionments of other people add insult to injury.  Change itself is excruciating.  These things can turn us into someone quite hard, ugly, and unloving over time.  The anecdote to bitterness?  Getting our eyes off of others, and onto a hope for eternity that does not fade and a Christ that does not disappoint.” Pg 37

They are taking you on a journey of what they have learned about identity, the surety of God’s Word, trusting God, how to wait well, true friendship, the importance of community, fears, and God’s promises. The boldness in this quote is so encouraging to me: “So are we still single?  God be glorified in our contentment.  We still do not have our dream job?  God be glorified in our acceptance.  Our future dreams have not come to fruition?  God be glorified in the new dreams He has given us.  Let us learn to enjoy our life.  Enjoy our season.  Be content.  Be bold.  Make a difference.  And ultimately, trust God.” Pg 54.

My only critique of this book is:

1) Of the use of a John Eldredge quote on pg 21.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely quote – but John Eldredge teaches some heretical doctrine, such as open theism, and I wouldn’t want to steer anyone in his direction. (For more information on why his teachings are heretical go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3-EFXObuD0 and here: https://www.challies.com/general-news/john-eldredge/ )

2) I wish it was longer. It is not that the book felt like there was so much left unsaid, but it left me yearning for the conversation to continue.  It was much in the way it is bittersweet when a cherished friend has to leave after a good visit. (Obviously, contentment is something I am still working on!)

Analysis

“My singleness happens to be the thing that has driven me to the Bible like nothing else, time and again, for answers to my questions about identity, purpose, and many other perplexing issues besides. God’s Word anchors my soul like nothing else can.  It is through His Word alone that God reveals who He is.  It is there that my perspective is transformed.  It is there that I learn of hope that I have in Christ and understand who I am in Him.  It is there that I can learn of God’s ways. It is there that I am reminded that ultimately; this is His story, not mine.

“Does the reading, study, and memorization of the Bible seem like a daunting task to you? Dear friend, if you glean nothing else from this little book, please heed the encouragement to pursue God through His Word.  In this ever-changing world we live in, it is ever so important to know the foundation on which you stand.  Only when your roots are planted deeply, and are growing deeper still, can you stand strong against the “dangers, toils, and snares” that you will face.  May we hunger and thirst after the life-giving Word, and may we yield ourselves to the transformation it brings.” – pg 15

Contentment is something that I have struggled with in my own life. I write out my daily ‘To Do List’ and a large portion remains undone at the end of the day, regardless of how hard I tried. I have mapped out my life goals in detail and have even drawn out the blueprint for my dream house – yet I find myself struggling to find a way to make it all happen.

Far too often I find myself in the depths of despair simply because I can’t do it all. It’s hard finding balance between being a wife, a mother, a family member, a church member, getting prepped to homeschool a pre-schooler, trying to learn a trade, finding time to finish my work, plan and cook meals, clean the house, run errands, take my daughter to multiple therapy appointments, supporting my husband as he starts his second year in seminary – there is so much to do, and precious little time. My ‘To Do List’, as helpful as it is, can easily be a gateway into depressing and anxious discontentment.

My plans are “good” but quickly become a sin issue. For example, I plan on my family sitting around the table feasting on a very healthy meal, but my oldest has Asperger’s and her food sensory issues are rather extreme. She eats precious little in way of variety and very few of her foods are reasonably healthy (unfortunately.) When my good plan, my desire for her to eat a healthy meal elevates from a desire to a need, then it becomes idolatry.  Idolatry is at the very root of discontentment.

God wants me to be obedient in how I mother my children – I need to give her healthy food, encourage her, foster an environment where she develops the security and courage to step out of her boundaries and try different things. I don’t need her to fit into my agenda. I need to be content in that God is in charge of her sensory issues – not me. She will mature and learn coping skills in His timing and to the degree that He sees best. His best brings Glory to His Name and brings us to further sanctification.  And this book has helped me to see that by remembering that God has Providentially placed me in this situation, for my good & His Glory, I will find rest, joy, and contentment.

Conclusion

“Friends, our prayer is that you would see blessings and marriages and dream jobs and fulfilling lives.  Indeed, we hope that for ourselves.  But if not, He is still good (Daniel 3). Because God is still in control, because Jesus’ blood still redeems sinners, because the Comforter is still with us, He is still good.  Let us exclaim with the psalmist: ‘I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.’ (Psalm 34:1 KJV).” 

It doesn’t end quite there – almost – the authors have compiled a forty-something-long list of resources. These resources are books and radio programs that have been influential on their journey.  These books are theologically sound, some I have read and a great many I am familiar with and have bumped up on my wish list.  But even that is a wonderful reminder that our journey of sanctification really doesn’t have an “End Point” on this side of Glory.  And we can praise God in that – that His work of sanctifying us is progressive.  We don’t have to be perfect right now – in fact, we can’t be.  We can trust Him to gently guide us along as we seek Him.

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